coolscar:

cyandye:

coolscar:

*mr krabs voice* secret formuler 

*plankton voice* hand it over krabs

*mr krabs voice* eat a dick plankton 

(via jusstanothergiirl)

panic-at-the-discount-store:

I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms

(via been-living-in-fast-forward)

kingsleyyy:

netflix gives u 15 seconds between episodes to decide whether or not you’re doing anything with ur life today

(via been-living-in-fast-forward)

dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

(via fathillaryclinton)